What Will I Do?

1980/1981

 When I was a young girl I spent many, many days down the road with my Great Grandmother Sibyl. When I got off the bus each day from school, that’s where I went. We would set and work on school work, she’d fixed my snack, and then we would watch a daily routine of comedy shows, followed by Jeopardy. She was my friend.

She attended my school functions, basketball games; and I always kept her informed about my life. When I was old enough to drive, attend college, and so on, I still made frequent stops to see her and visit.

May 2000

When I was married I moved a little over an hour away. One evening after being married maybe about five years or so,  I made a comment to my husband. I said, “I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever lose my Mimmie.” He simply said, “You’ll be fine.” I crawled on into bed and the thought of it hurt my heart.

                                                                                                           
In 2007 God began to intervene in my life more and more. That summer God gave me a prayer. I prayed it frequently while walking in a park in 2007. My prayer, “I thank you for the sanctification of my spirit unto God.” Sanctification is being separated unto God. I had no idea what was being brought forth in my life, but in late October of 07, that is what had begun!  

In the book of Job, the scriptures speak how God let down the hedge around Job. Job was tried, and tempted to not believe God. God allowed things to be taken away, but told the devil, “You can’t have his life.” Well, God allowed some of my hedge to be taken down, and the devil began to stir up some things in my life. Would I keep believing God no matter what came? 

 

One day someone very close to me said, “I think you are taking God too seriously.” A separation was at the forefront with those I had known my whole life, and I soon became cut off from many.

Did I blame God? No. I hurt, I was alienated, but knowing God had put that prayer in my heart, I found some comfort. One day the Lord said to me, “Misty, it had to be this way.” I grabbed onto those words, believed them, and never let them go. What a comfort! God and the Lord Jesus had done enough in my life to that point, I knew I could trust what they were saying.

Dec. 2000

That separation was needed for me to walk on with the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. You know nothing can be in front of them! Nothing! Not a man, or a woman, not a friend, not a child, no object…. nothing. They are idols, and I had idols in my heart. I had things, I had people, I frankly loved more than God.

I could not, and would not, have sought after God like I did, had he not intervened in my life like that. I would of needed no reason to. I had all the love, all the material things, friends, successful, I wasn't lacking anything, but where would I have ended up?  

In late 2008, my husband and I moved to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, believing it was God, endeavoring to make decisions in our lives only after seeking direction from the Lord. You know it was sometimes comforting to read in the scriptures how Jesus seemed to upset everyone because he did the will of God, and not what everyone else thought he should be doing. At one point when his mother questions him about the wine while at the wedding, he responds with, “Woman, what have I to do with you?” I wonder if anyone thought he was so disrespectful, or so rude, or maybe what had gotten in to him?

This decision, again, only seemed to upset those I loved, and it upset my great grandmother. She was upset that I didn’t come down as much, she was upset that I didn’t seem to be involved in all the family get togethers, she was upset thinking I was off not following God, that I had missed it. Everyone had thought I had lost my ever loving mind! That’s not a fun place to walk when you are endeavoring to obey God, and those who have been your biggest supporters all your life, now suddenly have no support of what you believe to be right.

You know there was a time in the fall of 2003; my grandpa Bill said to me, “There will come a time when you and Anthony will have to do what you believe is right no matter what anyone else thinks.” I thought that was a random and strange comment, but today I believe that was God speaking out of my grandpa’s mouth. Those words comforted me during some tough times.  

My husband and I went on to move, and as I have shared before, we entered into some difficult days while in Broken Arrow. Days that I believe God brought us to, to deal with us individually, to deal with our hearts, to show us our hearts. Places where no man or woman could help us, places to where we knew we had to depend on God to survive. You know what…. those days built a confidence in God!! Those days had to be done! I couldn’t live the way I had been living and of received the confidence in God like I did without going through those days starting with me being separated; my confidence would have remained in man.

I hadn’t spoken to many during those years due to what I was walking through. I only seemed to upset others when I attempted to speak or see people, and again, one of those were my great grandmother. One day in March 2011, I was standing in my classroom, I turned to put some papers on my desk, and I heard the Lord tell me to go see her. I said, “Lord, I don’t want to. I’ll just go in the summer.” He said, “There won’t be time in the summer.”

The woman was 100 years old. Her mind sharp! She was strong in spirit. Not sick! And she could still put up a good fight, and I wasn’t looking for one! She had spent her whole life involved with reading the word of God and so on, but I still didn’t know if the woman was born again…. had she ever received Jesus? I have had people tell me that they went so many years to church and rarely ever missed, and because of that, they believed that was worth something, that that would get them into heaven. Jesus says you must be born again. 

Sibyl Younger Years

 

John 3: 3 .... Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.  How can we do that? How can we be born again, born from above?
Romans 10: 9 - 10  says that we must believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess him Lord; and we shall be saved. 

 We must call on the name Jesus. It does not say if we attend so many church services we are good to go. So… was my great grandmother born again? Was this part of why the Lord had told me to go? 

I found myself in a dilemma! God had told me to go see her. Now, here is the first time I have seen her in awhile and I’m going to have to ask such a question. But God is gracious and merciful! And he had sent me to see her. I just had to believe God no matter what she might think, or no matter what my own head was trying to think.

We chatted about my childhood, and about hers. She shared stories of her life. She sang the songs she expected to be played one day when it was her time to go. It was the most wonderful time, and now I was going to have to get the guts to ask. I said, “Mimmie, are you born again?” Her response, “Well I’ll have you know I hammered nails in that church upteen years ago…, is that what you mean?” “No Mimmie.” “ Are you asking…..”, “No, Mimmie.” “Well, are you asking ….” “ No Mimmie.” I was getting no where, and we kept having these exchanges. I finally said in my heart, “Lord, I can’t do this, I won’t fight with her, you’ll have to do something. ” No sooner than I said that in my heart, she pointed her finger directly at me and said, “Are you asking me if I have received the Lord Jesus as my Lord and Saviour?” I said, “Yes Mimmie! That is exactly what I’m asking you!” “Yes, honey, I have”. I thanked God!! We had spent the best day together.

I left that day, took in every detail of her, believing that would be the last time I saw her. Within 3 to 4  weeks, she fell and went to be with Jesus!

So, what will I do if anything ever happens to my Mimmie? I’ll go on! I’ll keep believing! I rejoiced that she was forever to be with Jesus; and I will continue to thank God for all he did leading up to that point, to bring my life to the place where my confidence was in him, and his Son Jesus, and I wasn't that same person who crawled into bed that night thinking... "I don't know what I'll do.."

Do you know if God had not intervened in my life like he did, I could not of walked through that like I did. I wouldn’t of been seeking him, listening for his direction on what I was to do daily, I wouldn’t of had confidence knowing that was him talking to me, telling me,  “Go see your Mimmie.” Do you know all that I went through, was nothing but the love of God for me!! The love of God. That kind of love is available for you too!!

You know my dad discplined me, corrected me. He would always say, “I do it because I love you, if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t care what you did.”  I never could understand that until I became a teacher, and was repsonsible for “my kids”. You know God corrects us, corrects our steps because he loves us! Although we may not understand it because of how it hurts, or what it looks like, it is still the love of God.

Hebrews 12: 5 - 10
5: And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
6: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7: If we endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8: But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9: Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

If you want to know the will of God for your life. If you want to hear the voice of the Lord, so you’ll know what to do in your life. If you want to have the confidence that God is with you, and Jesus is with you in every situation no matter how grim or scary it looks, or maybe you were like me, and could find yourself thinking….”What will I do if…”  You know what you will have to do?  You will have to have the spirit of Jesus in you!! You will have to be born again!! There’s no other way!!

Romans 10:9-10

9: That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

10: For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

 

 

Acts 4: 12 tells us, Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Call on him, Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!! And when you do, you will be born again; and every day you will have to seek him; what will you have me do today Lord? You will not be sorry!!

 

Through all this I was learning to love because of the love of God that was being brought forth in my life. I was learning to lay down my life and follow Jesus.
 

John 15:13  

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

 
God Bless You,
Misty